117. Why Holding on Creates Anxiety — and How to Let Go with God

In this episode, I talk about something that hits close to home — the anxiety that comes from holding onto things we were never meant to hold. Maybe it’s beauty, maybe it’s success, maybe it’s your background or even where you come from. I know this has been true for me.

I share a personal story about discovering my ancestry — Belgian, Bulgarian, and even Roma, Gypsy roots — and how God used that moment to show me something deeper about identity.

It made me ask: Am I still clinging to something other than God? Even subtly?

When we hold onto anything more tightly than Him — our image, our past, or even good things like goals and dreams — our hearts become divided. We lose peace. And sometimes, that quiet inner pressure we call anxiety is really our spirit trying to remind us: “You’re holding something that isn’t meant to define you.”

In this episode, I explore both the faith and the science behind why that happens.

When you cling to old patterns or fears, your brain and nervous system stay in fight-or-flight — always scanning for loss or danger. But when you release and surrender, your body shifts into rest and restore — your heart slows, your breath deepens, and peace returns.

God isn’t slow to move — He’s patient with us as we learn to trust Him.

Like 2 Peter 3:9 says:

“The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead, He is patient with you…”

When we let go, we make room. It’s like trying to fill a cup that’s already full — God’s pouring blessings and direction, but we have to empty what’s been in the way.

Through it all, He’s whispering:

“You don’t need to be more {fill in the blank}. You’re not late. You are exactly where I want you.”

Scriptures from this Episode:

• Philippians 3:7–8 — “Whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.”
• 1 Samuel 16:7 — “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
• Isaiah 43:1 — “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”
• Psalm 139:13–14 — “You knit me together in my mother’s womb… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
• 2 Peter 3:9 — “The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise… He is patient with you.”
• Matthew 12:25 — “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined.”
• 2 Timothy 2:13 — “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.”

Final Encouragement:

Friend, what are you holding onto that’s been keeping you anxious?

This week, take five quiet minutes each morning to ask: ‘Lord, what am I still holding onto that You’re inviting me to release?’ Write it down — and then pray for peace in that place.

You are already chosen. Already loved. Already enough.

Take a deep breath. Let go. And let Him define you. Bye for now

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Transcript

0:00

Hi, and welcome back to Curious for Christ. Welcome. If you're new here today, I want to talk about something so real. It's the anxiety that comes from holding on to things we were never meant to hold. Maybe it's beauty, maybe it's success. Maybe it's your background or where you come from, maybe your dreams and aspirations. I know this has been true for me. Just recently, my husband told me Hey, you have a new notification on ancestry.com. Maybe check it out. And at first I brushed it off. I thought I already know who I am. I'm half Belgian, half Bulgarian. I grew up in Europe. I have an accent. I love God. I'm God's daughter. That's me. I even thought about how my last name means count graph, like nobility, like land ownership. But then my dad reminded me, our family probably worked the land more than owned it. And on my mother's side, they were whispers of connections to Julius Caesar or Italian roots. But in the latest update, I discovered something new. I also had aroma gypsy blood, and I have nothing against this group personally, but it struck me how deeply misunderstood and mistreated they've been throughout history. It's one of the most despised ethnic group. Wandering, rejected, stereotyped, and interestingly, Christians in the first century were viewed much the same way. They were marginalized, misunderstood, and often rejected. But it made me pause and ask myself, am I still clinging to something other than God, even sadly. Is God trying to tell me to let go of anything that isn't him? Because in that moment, it felt as though he whispered to my heart, Alexandra, let go. This is not why I chose you. Your worth isn't in your past, your beauty, your, you know, any earthly title that you may have. And how do I know this was him whispering. Peace. I felt lighter, grounded, free somehow to have that extra piece of information from ancestry.com Welcome to Curious for Christ. Do you ever find yourself lying, awake at night wondering about God's plan for your life? Maybe you wake up with big dreams, but feel unsure where to start or what your next step should be. If you're curious about exploring your faith and finding purpose, then you've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Alexandra. I too felt lost and sure of the direction my life was taking. I yearned to understand my purpose and have someone guide me, but I kept telling myself I was too busy. The timing wasn't right, and my lack of clarity prevented me from being consistent until I found Christ. He brought peace into my life and revealed the way to find purpose by anchoring myself. In him. In this podcast, we'll journey together exploring the Bible to gain a deeper understanding of him and cultivate your own personal relationship with Christ. So open up your Bible, put in those earbuds and listen up because God is speaking to you. He's making everything new and you don't wanna miss it. Let's get started. Here are some scriptures to anchor what I'm sharing and to reflect on Philippians three. Verses seven through eight says Whatever word gains to me, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ, because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. Even Paul had heritage, accolades and education, but he said none of it defined him. First Samuel 16 verse seven says, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. That is, those are God's words. To Samuel God here reminds us that beauty, faith status shifts, but his view of us. Is steady. Isaiah 43 verse one. Do not fear for I have redeemed you. I have summoned you by name. You are mine. You are mine. Our identity isn't in ancestry or achievement. It's in belonging to him. And then lastly, Psalm 1 39 verses 13 and 14 for you, created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made when we clinging to anything. Other than God, beauty, youth, titles, heritage, even our dreams, we add unnecessary pressure to ourselves. We feel anxious behind and full of comparison. Why? Because when we hold something too tightly, our brain sees it as a threat if we might lose it. Science even shows this old identities, fears, or comparisons live as neural patterns. In the brain, rehearsing them keeps your body in stress mode. The amygdala fires cortisol rises and your nervous system stays on alert. But when you release or surrender something, your rest and restore system activates. Your heart rate slows, your breath deepens, and your mind opens physically. You make room for peace and spiritually you make room for God. Have you ever asked God, why is this taking so long? God, but scripture says in two Peter three, verse nine, the Lord is not slow in keeping his promise as some understand slowness. Instead, he's patient. With you. It's not that God is slow, it's that he is patient. He waits until we are ready and he helps us in the process of being ready. From a faith perspective, the block isn't his ability. It's our capacity to receive. We are not fully aligned with him. Jesus said, according to your faith, be it done, and you cannot serve two masters. When we cling to anything other than God, our hearts become divided. Our trust splits and the kingdom within us can't stand strong. Matthew 12, verse 25 says, every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself. Will not stand. Surrender is what brings us into alignment. Alignment with God, with his will, which is bigger than us. It's for us, but it's for everyone around us as well. It's like trying to fill a cup that's already full. The water keeps pouring, but there's no room until we empty it through it all. God is saying, you don't need to be more. Fill in the blank. Beautiful. To be younger, to be more qualified to do my will. You don't need to be anything. You are not too late. You are exactly where I want you. When we let go, we become open vessels ready for his piece, creativity and guidance to flow through us. So what are you holding onto? Is it your past, your family name? The idea that you need to be more before God can use you. Friend, you are already chosen, already, loved already enough. Let's pray. Father, thank you for seeing us beyond what the world values. You know, our hearts, our stories, our longings, help us release anything we've been holding onto. Whether it's beauty, titles, control, fear, anything that has taken space meant for you, remind us that our identity is found in you alone. Where we've been divided, bring wholeness where we've been striving. Bring rest and where we've been anxious, fill us with peace. Make us vessels of your love. God open, surrendered, and available for your purpose. In Jesus name I pray. That's it for today's episode. If this spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need it, and don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. So here's what I want you to carry with you today. Let go of the anxiety that comes from holding onto things that were never meant to define you as two. Timothy two, verse 13 says, if we are faithless, he remains faithful for he cannot disown himself. He is faithful. He is steady and he's the one who defines you. So walk free like a child curious and full of wander at what he's doing, at what he's doing in and like a child curious and full of wander at what he's doing in and through you, because what he's building in you is always bigger than yourself. This week, ask yourself, what am I holding onto that God is inviting me to release and what would it look like to rest in who he says I am? My prayer is for you to walk free, grounded in peace, and anchored in the truth that your identity is found in Him alone. I will see you next week. Bye for now. Hi, I hope you enjoy today's episode. If so, would you like to take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who may also struggle with knowing God and his purpose for their life? Also, leave a review on Apple. Podcast and let me know what topics you'd like to hear about in the future. Your voice matters. I'll meet you back next Friday for another episode.