89. Becoming Who God Created You to Be: Wrestling Through the Process

In today’s episode, we’re diving into the process of becoming—the ongoing transformation that happens as we step into who God created us to be. It’s not always a smooth journey. In fact, it often involves struggle, uncertainty, and deep wrestling with our identity, our past, and even with God Himself.

Through my personal story and the powerful biblical account of Jacob wrestling with God, we’ll explore what it means to be refined through struggle and step into the identity God has for us. If you’ve ever felt like you’re stuck in between who you were and who you’re called to be, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
• How struggles can actually be part of God’s refining process
• Why wrestling with God isn’t about resistance—it’s about transformation
• Lessons from Jacob’s encounter with God in Genesis 32
• Practical steps to step into your God-given identity
• How surrendering to God doesn’t mean losing—it means becoming

Key Scriptures to Reflect On:
• Genesis 32:22-32 – Jacob’s wrestling with God and his transformation into Israel
• Romans 12:2 – The renewal of our minds as part of our transformation
• 2 Corinthians 5:17 – Stepping into our new identity in Christ
• Psalm 46:10 – The importance of stillness in hearing God’s voice
• Romans 5:3-4 – How struggles shape our endurance, character, and hope

Practical Next Steps for Your Journey:
1. Acknowledge your emotions and bring them to God (1 Peter 5:7)
2. Renew your mind daily with Scripture (Romans 12:2)
3. Surrender your struggles and trust the process (Matthew 11:28)
4. Create moments of stillness to hear God’s voice (Psalm 46:10)
5. Embrace the struggle as part of your transformation (Romans 5:3-4)
6. Keep seeking God through prayer and wisdom (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
7. Let go of your past and step into the new (2 Corinthians 5:17) - which also involves forgiving yourself in the process

Final Thoughts
Becoming who God created you to be is a lifelong process, not a one-time event. Like Jacob, we may walk away from our struggles with scars, but they are marks of transformation, not defeat. If you’re wrestling today, know that you are not alone—God is with you, shaping you, and preparing you for what’s ahead.

I’d love to hear how this episode spoke to you! Share your thoughts, tag me on social media, or send me a message. If this encouraged you, consider sharing it with a friend who needs to hear it too.

Until next time, stay curious, stay faithful, and keep wrestling toward who God has called you to be.

Resources & Ways to Connect:
• Subscribe to the Curious for Christ podcast and leave a review—it helps more people find this message!
• Join our community for deeper conversations

Thanks for listening! Your support means the world. Join our Curious for Christ Facebook Group and become an Insider for weekly inspiration and encouragement on your faith journey.

Want to go deeper? Let's connect—set up a FREE Discovery Call today. See you next time!

Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to Curious for Christ. I'm so excited about today's episode because I'm gonna be diving into something that not only is deeply personal, but I believe that it also is universally relevant and it's the transformation that happens when we fully step into. Who God created us to be. We often hear just step into God's purpose or do God's will, as though those were just smooth easy things to do. But it is a process and I'm not talking, about salvation, although salvation is an important topic, that I will mention in a future episode, but it's about the ongoing process of becoming, and let's be honest, it's a messy process. Filled with challenges and hardships and setbacks. Following God is not easy Facing our humanity is not easy. It's not just about surrendering and instantly feeling peace. It's often about wrestling. Wrestling with our past, with our identity, our doubts, and even with God himself, because we are not God and his ways are not our ways. They are higher and we don't understand him sometimes, and sometimes we have to even face our limited belief of who we think he is and then welcomed in you. So there is a spiritual battle happening, and we are called to step into it, not just sit on the sidelines. And since it's not easy, not everyone is going to take on that invitation because there is a spiritual battle. We are going to war. So today I want to walk with you through this process, the struggles, the refining fire, and the hope that comes through the wrestling. We'll also look at a powerful biblical moment. The example of Jacob's wrestling with God, which is one of the most profound example of identity transformation in scripture. But before we get into that, let me share my own journey, and I've shared that journey before in some episode. Actually, One of the most listened to episodes, not the most, but one of the most listened to episodes of my podcast is my podcast trailer. My podcast was originally called One Minute to Glory, and I left it as is because it was how it all began for me. And so it's something that I wanted to leave for you as well, so you can journey on with me the transformation not only of my own personal life, but also this. Podcast. And so let me dive in again, your life and your journey will not look like mine. We all unique in this matter, but we all can relate to the fact that we will have to wrestle and we will have moments of confusion, where we don't understand, what is happening to us. And that it's okay. It is part of the process. Welcome to Curious For Christ. Do you ever find yourself lying, awake at night, wondering about God's plan for your life? Maybe you wake up with big dreams, but feel unsure where to start or what your next step should be. If you're curious about exploring your faith and finding purpose, then you've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Alexandra. I too felt lost, unsure of the direction my life was leaking. I yearned or understand my purpose and have someone guide me. But I kept telling myself I was too busy. The timing wasn't right, and my lack of clarity prevented me from being consistent until I found Christ. He brought peace into my life and revealed the way to find purpose by anchoring myself. In him. In this podcast, we'll journey together exploring the Bible to gain a deeper understanding of him and cultivate your own personal relationship with Christ. So open up your Bible, put in those earbuds and listen up because God is speaking to you. He's making everything new and you don't wanna miss it. Let's get started. So my journey, my own wrestling. With my identity. In Act 17, it says that God places us in particular time and places for a specific reason. And it is to meet him and to get to know him. Perhaps we will find him. For me, this setting of my life was in Brussels, Belgium, where I was born. I struggled my entire life with the constant gray skies. I did not like it, did not understand why I was born in this place that didn't feel, joyful. It was kind of gloomy and matching my own emotional mood. My mother was from Bulgaria she passed away when I was five, during a time when Bulgaria was still under communism. I barely have memories of her. Just a few distant recollections and old photographs. Some summers that I spent over there. I grew up with two older sister and one of whom was disabled. Her name was Sophie, which means wisdom in Greek. my dad was a dreamer. He loved history. He loved books. We had so many books growing up. My dad drank every night, and it created a really heavy atmosphere in our home. He wasn't violent, but I could feel his unhappiness. It was as if something was always off, like something was missing and my presence did not fill that gap, whatever was missing. So it did really help me build a strong sense of self. The nights were deep and weighty, but he would talk for hours. And, uh, I became a really good listener through his stories. I learned about our family, my mother, Bulgaria, communism history. I mean, you name it. There was a lot of love, but it was not expressed love. It was just latent. But there was also this heaviness, a lack of joy in general. We traveled a lot, so I was exposed to different cultures, but even with all that movement, I carried a deep sense of loss. My mother wasn't there. My father's health was uncertain and I felt this growing need to protect myself from more pain. I didn't like where I had been born into. I saw so much dysfunction, but I had no idea what to do about it. I didn't even know. That acceptance was an option. I just knew that everything about my story felt abnormal and I didn't have the words to make sense of it. After college my father passed away unexpectedly. And so I was without parents, at a young age of 22, I was left with a decision I had, landed a really good job at the European Union, but eventually I walked away from it all and I moved to the United States to chase a dream, which was acting in Hollywood. I grew up loving movies and they were kind of an escape for me. And the sunshine of Los Angeles felt very much what I needed, in Los Angeles I studied the Bible. became a Christian. And a year later I met my husband at church and we got married, that's almost two decades ago. And, so it seemed like everything was wonderful, right? I was doing what I loved. Now I knew God, I mean the creator of it all, and I was married to my best friend, but there was still so much wrestling to do first, I knew that I had to make sense of my past and learn now to trust God with my future. Break down the walls I had built for self-protection and see where he wanted me to go from there, how he would carry all the pieces and make sense of it all. Also from my mother not being present, I had learned to be quiet just like her. She was quiet, she was non-existent. And so to me, to be a woman, was to shut down and I had to survive if I wanted to keep going. And when I became a mother, I realized more than ever I. That I needed to change, not just for myself, but for my children. Now, it wasn't just about me, I've also struggled with anxiety of, with feeling overwhelmed and wondering how to balance healing from my past while being present in my life with the blessings also, and life keeps going, and here I am trying to make sense of it all. I've come to realize that God doesn't remove the struggle, but he meets us in it. We are not wrestling against him. We are wrestling with him. And in the past, before I knew him, I was just wrestling on my own to the best that I could with the examples I had around me. And then I had dreams that I believe God had put in me. And those kept me going, but I still did not understand so we're not wrestling against him. We're wrestling with him so that he can shape us, transform us, and ultimately lead us into our true identity. But it really requires to walk alongside. Him. And in order to do that, we need to know who he is and his ways, his thoughts, and reflect that off of ourselves. So we need to be in our Bible. We need to fight to maintain that connection because he's never far from us, but we can wander away from him. That's very possible. Let's talk now about Jacob's wrestling with God, because that's a true blueprint for transformation. Like I mentioned, always going back to the Bible is a great way to know whether we are walking in his footsteps, and truly, know, we are not just working in vain, but we are working in that purpose of becoming who he said we are. One of the most powerful stories in scripture that speaks to this process is Jacob's wrestling Match with God in Genesis 32 verses 22 through 32. Jacob was a man who fought for everything. He fought to secure his birthright. He stole his brother Esau's blessing. He ran away to escape the consequences. And then he worked for years under his Uncle Leban, putting in 20 years of hard labor. Jacob, during this time, during that time. He, Jacob fell in love with Laban's daughter Rachel, but had to work seven years to earn her hand in marriage. Yet after seven years, Labon deceived him. He gave him Rachel's older sister, Leah instead. So Jacob had to work another seven years to marry Rachel and then another six years to pay his wages. And despite all of this, Labon continued to take more from him. So eventually Jacob decided it was time to leave and return to his homeland. Maybe that was also orchestrated by God. Sometimes when difficult times arise, it's time to make a change. So he had to face the unresolved tension with his brother Issa. It was time. Then the night before he was going to meet him, there was this moment of reckoning, a moment where he would finally confront whether all his efforts, struggles, years of movement had truly changed him. And so the path back to his brother would reveal if Jacob had really transformed. The night before the reunion, Jacob, Jacob found himself alone wrestling with God. It was an angel that we think is God. He refused to let go. He wrestled all night because he desperately wanted God's blessing. He had worked so hard for so long, and now was not the time to give up. Sometimes when things feel really hard, it's the time to press on. That night, the encounter was brutal. Jacob was hurt, but he walked away with more than just a blessing. He walked away with a new identity, a new name, and a transformed purpose. He changed Jacob's name to Israel, so Jacob became Israel. Jacob had been a deceiver, a struggler, a man constantly grasping for control. But through that wrestling, God gave him a new identity and a new purpose. And I think that's true for us too. Transformation isn't about believing in God. It's about wrestling through our old ways of thinking, dying to our past and stepping into a new identity. And that process is painful because it's the death of the old to let go, to make space for the new. So it's painful, but it's also necessary. What are some practical steps to step into your new identity? How do we step into who God has called us to be? How do we move from struggle to clarity? So I've outlined a few steps that have helped me, and I believe they can help you too. Number one, acknowledge and feel your emotions in one Peter five or seven. It says, cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Transformation starts with honesty. We can't deny what we are feeling. We can't, judge those feelings. We have to feel them as painful as they may feel. If we don't feel them, they will be stored within, like we holding onto them. God already knows what's in your heart, so just bring it to him. Number two, renew your mind daily. I mentioned this, being in his word is crucial to step into our identity, Romans 12, verse two says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Your old ways of thinking won't take you to your new identity. You have to spend time in the word and let God redefine your thoughts. Number three, surrender your struggles to Christ. Matthew 11, verse 28 says, come to me all who labor and our heavy ladin, and I will give you rest. There is peace in surrender. I know I mentioned that there's a war going on, but the peace here, it's not a peace that is based on what's happening, even on your feelings it's something much deeper. It's a peace that comes from surrendering. Surrendering doesn't mean passivity. It means trusting God in the process, even if you don't see it. To me, I would define it as a hope that everything will work itself out. And God does mention in the Bible, that, in all things, God works for the good of those who love him. So despite what you see, despite how you feel, despite all the things that are happening around you, just saying with your heart. I decide to trust you, God, and see what he does. God is good. God is faithful. He can be trusted, and there is peace. It's instant in surrendering it all to him. Number four, create moments of stillness. Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46, verse 10. In the noise of life, and I mean, I'm an emotional person, so my feelings are noisy and my thoughts, they keep on flowing. But in this noise, I know I need intentional silence to hear God's voice. I need to be still. Number five, lean into the struggle, not away from it. Don't do like I've done in the past. In Romans five, verses three to four, it says, we rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Your struggles are not obstacles. They are part of the refining process. It was true for Jacob and it is true for you. Number six, keep praying and seeking wisdom. First Thessalonians five 17 says, pray without. Ceasing, pray in the middle of your thoughts. Pray in the middle of a conversation. Pray at all times. Pray when you wake up. Pray when you go to bed. Pray. Constantly. God's wisdom is revealed to those who seek him persistently. Number seven, forgive yourself and let go of the past. Sometimes we hold onto the past because we haven't forgiven ourselves. Why didn't I do this before? I wish I had started. Now it's too late. Forgive yourself. Just say, I forgive myself. I did not know better. And, God's timing is also perfect and we have to trust that, God's timing is not our own. Second Corinthians five verse 17 says, therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come. The old has gone. The new is here. So stop carrying what God has already redeemed so, as a conclusion, I want to wrap up and talk again about this process of becoming, stepping into our new identity in Christ isn't a one-time event, it's a life. Long process of transformation. And granted, Jacob had to meet with God that night before he met with his brother. He had an encounter with God, but it was after decades of work and transformation. It wasn't a one time event. It was, a long process of transformation that led to that encounter with God and. Here's the truth. It won't always be easy. But it will always be worth it. God is shipping you, refining you, and preparing you for what's ahead. So don't give up in the wrestling. Don't settle for an identity that is less than what God has for you. Jacob walked away from his struggle with a limp, but with a new name, and that's what our journey looks like too. We may carry scars. But we also carry a testimony. So what are you wrestling with today? What old identity is God calling you to let go of? I'm curious. So ask him, lean in and wrestle through it. Lean in because on the other side of this is the fullness of who you were always meant to be. So thank you for joining me today on Curious for Christ. If this episode spoke to you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and. Don't forget to join my Facebook group community, curious for Christ, so that we can continue this journey together. We do need one another for encouragement. I believe in you. That's why I'm doing this podcast. But even more than that, God has a plan and a future for you. Until next time, stay curious, stay faithful, keep wrestling toward who God has called you to be. And I will meet with you next Friday. Bye for now. Hi, I hope you enjoy today's episode. If so, would you like to take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who may also struggle with knowing God and his purpose for their life? Also, leave a review on Apple Podcasts and let me know what topics you'd like to hear about in the future. Your voice matters. I'll meet you back next Friday. For another episode.