69. Q&A: How to Grow Closer to God When You don't Feel Like It?

In this episode, I dive into the common struggle of feeling spiritually dry and distant from God. I address the challenges we face when we don’t feel like connecting with God and offer practical steps to help us grow closer to Him, even when our hearts feel distant. If you’re in a season where it feels hard to pray, read Scripture, or even believe God is near, this episode is for you.

I explore why we might feel spiritually dry, offering insight into emotional fatigue, distractions, unresolved sin, and unmet expectations. Then, I share six practical steps to help you draw closer to God, along with powerful Bible verses to encourage you along the way.

6 Practical Tips to Grow Closer to God:

1. Be Honest with God

• Prayer isn’t about perfect words; it’s about being raw and honest. Just like David in the Psalms, pour out your heart, even your doubts and frustrations, before God.

• Bible Verse: Psalm 62:8 – “Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”

2. Return to the Basics

• Even if it feels hard, read Scripture. God’s Word has the power to revive a weary spirit. Start with sections like the Psalms or the Gospels.

• Bible Verse: Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

3. Create Space for God

• Unplug from distractions and intentionally seek quiet moments to connect with God. Spend 10-15 minutes in silence, meditating on Scripture or simply inviting God into your day.

• Related Episodes: Episode 49, Episode 59, Episode 67.

4. Worship and Gratitude

• Worship before you feel it. Worship songs or thanking God for small blessings can shift your heart and perspective.

• Practical Tip: Make a gratitude list of three things every day, even in difficult seasons.

5. Stay Connected to Community

• Surround yourself with others who are seeking God. Being in community can reignite your faith.

• Related Episodes: Episode 29-36, where I share how I became a Christian.

6. Rest in God’s Grace

• Your relationship with God isn’t based on your feelings but on His unchanging love. Rest in His grace, knowing that He is faithful, even when we feel weak or vulnerable.

• Bible Verse: 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’”

Bible Verses to Encourage You:

• Matthew 11:28-30

• Isaiah 40:31

• Romans 8:28

• Ecclesiastes 3:1

Call to Action:

This week, take one small step toward God each day. It could be a simple prayer, reading a scripture, or sitting quietly in His presence. The journey back to intimacy with God starts with one faithful step at a time.

Thank you for tuning in to today’s episode! If you’d like to stay connected, join the Curious for Christ community on Facebook or sign up for the weekly newsletter at curiousforchrist.kit.com/insider.

If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing and leaving a review. Keep pressing into God’s presence, and I’ll see you next week!

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Transcript

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Welcome back to our curious for Christ Q and a Wednesday session. The very first of 2025. I'm very excited to start this new year with you. Even as I actually, to be honest, I'm navigating my own mixed feelings of starting a new year. And reflecting on how I can best serve you in the year ahead. And I am grateful for the ways that God has been faithful. And has kept. Inspiring me moving forward and seeking ways that I can deepen my connection with him through the podcast and my connection with you. So I'm excited to see what God will do. I don't have all the answers. But here I am navigating, all the feelings with you And being honest about them and vulnerable with you. Let's jump right into the very first question of the year. How can it be grow closer to God when we don't feel like it? This is such an important question because it's about cultivating a relationship with God. That's not just occasional, but constant and growing. Even when it feels hard. Or distant. It's just like being in a relationship. Any relationship like one with your husband, for instance. And some days you just don't feel like talking to or loving him. Whatever the reason. Relationships thrive when we learn how to nurture them through every season. And this goes with God as well. And every season has a purpose, which is what I want to unpack with you today. So have you ever felt spiritually dry? Like you're just going through the motions or struggling to connect with God. Maybe, you know, you need him. But your heart feels distant. And the desire just isn't there, or you know about him, but you just not listening. If so you're not alone. Today, we'll explore how to grow closer to God during those dry seasons. So you can deepen your relationship with him, experience his peace, that transcends all understanding and stay connected with him. Through all the ups and downs of life. Let's go. Welcome to Curious for Christ. Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night, wondering about God's plan for your life? Maybe you wake up with big dreams, but feel unsure where to start or what your next step should be. If you're curious about exploring your faith and finding purpose, then you've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Alexandra. I too felt lost, unsure of the direction my life was taking. I yearned to understand my purpose and have someone guide me. But I kept telling myself I was too busy, the timing wasn't right, and my lack of clarity prevented me from being consistent, until I found Christ. He brought peace into my life and revealed the way to find purpose, by anchoring myself in Him. In this podcast, we'll journey together exploring the Bible to gain a deeper understanding of Him and cultivate your own personal relationship with Christ. So open up your Bible, put in those earbuds and listen up because God is speaking to you. He is making everything new and you don't want to miss it. Let's get started. So number one, what does it mean to feel spiritually dry? Spiritual dryness is often a sense of disconnection from God and it can happen for many reasons. It could be disappointment. It's hard when you have emotions and what do you do when you are disappointed by God? Where do you turn to. Then there's exhaustion or distractions or even spiritual growth that feels like a wilderness season. Like Jesus. In the desert. Where God is pruning, what is in your heart? That will not bear fruit. And that can be hard. When there's things that you've been holding on to that need to go. Because they're not. Helping you grow closer to God. I just want to highlight that feeling spiritually dry is not a sign that God has left us. Sometimes he allows the seasons to deepen our dependence on him and refine our faith. As Ecclesiastes three verse one reminds us there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Every season has a purpose. Even when it feels difficult to see. Also want to encourage you with Romans eight verse 28. And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. This means that nothing is wasted. God is at work in every moment, including this season. Isaiah 55 verses eight through nine. Reminds us. For my thoughts are not your thoughts. Neither are your ways. My ways declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth. So are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. We don't have to understand everything, but we can trust that God is in control working for his glory and our ultimate good. Okay. Number two. Why do we feel this way? So let me go over some possible reasons again and expand a little bit on them. So there could be emotional fatigue. Life's challenges can, where is down? We reach a point we did not anticipate, and God gives us time to find out what these emotions are, how we are feeling. So we can go to him with them. So those spiritual dry moments are time. They're a gift from God for you to know. What's happening. So we have to go and dig in a little bit. I remember a time when, out of nowhere I felt completely distant from God. You know, how much I love to grow and learn, but in that season, I just felt exhausted. I remember praying and saying, God, I can never reach you. You're so high up so far away and it feels impossible to get close to you. It was such a disappointing and heavy feeling. And as I sat a little bit with these emotions, I realized that they felt familiar that frustration, that sense of distance. It really reminded me how I felt about my mother growing up. She passed away when I was a little girl in growing up, especially in my teenage years, I was always searching for her. I would ask my father about her. Look at pictures, dream of. Going back to Bulgaria, which I did. But years later to something, how we connect with who she was. But it was always this ache, this anger, even because I couldn't reach her, she felt so far away and I couldn't fill that void. And in that moment with God, I realized something deeper was happening. I believe. He intentionally allowed that season of distance to reveal what was inside me, this wrong belief I had about who he is. I saw that I was carrying the same belief about God that I had about my mother. That he was distant and reachable and far away. And yes, I was angry at him for it. But once I recognize that lie. Everything changed. I could see that God wasn't far or distant. I could welcome him back into my heart and start trusting what the Bible says about who he truly is. With a much lighter heart. In acts 17, it says that he's never far from us. The truth is if we don't confront the lies and hurts buried in our hearts, they will continue to keep us distant from God. And sometimes God allows us to go through heart seasons. To draw those things out of us. So it's not because he wants to push us away, but because his love is so committed to healing us and bringing us closer to him. The seasons may be painful, but they're necessary. God wants to free us from the lies and hurt that. Keep us from fully experiencing his love. So there could be also distractions or busy-ness. I would call that a cluttered life that pulls us away from intentional time with God. That could be unresolved sin or guilt. These can create a barrier between us and God, these dry season to really help us see ourselves where we are. God sees it. But we need to note because it's a collaboration. We have to intentionally give a way a habit. That is hurting us. So we have to be aware of it to do that. Then it could be expectations. Sometimes we feel distant because we expect constant mountain top experiences with God, rather than learning to meet him in the every day. So I want to encourage you. Do we flecked on what might be causing your spiritual dryness? Number three, how to grow closer to God when you don't feel like it. I'm going to give you six practical steps along with some spiritual truth. You're ready. Number one, be honest with God. Like when I was during that time, when I felt so distant from God. I want to remind you that prayer isn't about having the perfect words. It's about being raw and honest with God. So often we don't allow ourselves to feel or express what's really going on inside us. Maybe we are afraid of being punished, or maybe we've been taught to suppress those feelings for some other reason. But I want to encourage you to lean into those emotions and express them honestly, before God. It's in that honesty that he can meet us and help us grow beyond where we are. Take David, for instance. He was called a man after God's own heart. Not because he was perfect, but because he had a deep, honest relationship with God in the Psalms, David poured out his despair, his anger and confusion, but he didn't stay in those feelings. He expressed them fully and allowed God to shape his heart through them. And over time, David saw what God was doing in his life and trusted him. And eventually he even stepped into his role as a king. It's also important to remember that the length of these seasons is in God's hand. It's not something we can control. What we can do. Is lean into how we are feeling. Express it honestly to God and allow him to work in us. Keep bringing your heart to him. It's important to empty all of those emotions until he presents the next step or shifts your circumstances. In the meantime, trust that he is present and working, even in the waiting. Practical tip start with a simple prayer. Same God. I feel distant from you. Help me want to want you. Number two return to the basics. Read scripture, even if it feels hard or you feel unmotivated, God's word has the power to revive a weary spirit. Just don't give up. Practical tip begin with the songs or the gospels. Those sections of scripture where God's love and faithfulness are so clearly evident. I also love the book of Isaiah, where it says that God will, we knew our strength. It says in Isaiah 40 verse 31, they will soar on wings like Eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint and sit with that scripture. Even when we feel weary and tired, God promises to strengthen us to renew our strength. But we need to lean into him during those challenging seasons. So keep leaning in because God is working deeply in your heart. Through this time start small reader, short portion of scripture daily. And as you do ask yourself, what does this, we veal about? God, let that truth guide you and remind you of his constant presence and love, and that will help you also not rely on your emotion. It's just a really great exercise to do. Number three, create space for God. Distractions can easily crowd out God's voice in our lives. That's why it's so important to take time to unplug from technology or social media and intentionally seek quiet moments to connect with him. I've shared some episodes on digital detox and Sabbath practices that can help with this. And I'll be releasing more on similar topics soon, but for now you can start with episodes 49, 59 and 60. Seven. Some practical tip here. Dedicate 10 to 15 minutes daily to sit in silence, meditate on the scripture. Or simply invite God into your day. Number four. Worship and gratitude. Sometimes we need to worship before we feel it singing worship songs or thanking God for small blessings can shift our hearts and maybe that's all you need. Some practical tip, make a gratitude list of three things each day. And thank God for them. Even in difficult seasons. Number five. Stay connected to community. God often works through his people to draw us back to him. Being around others who are seeking him can reignite your faith. If you're looking for a community, feel free to join. My curious for Christ Facebook group. Or subscribe or, and subscribe to my weekend newsletter@curiousforcriesdotkid.com forward slash insider. Curious for Christ dot Kate. Dot com. Ford slash insider. And the link is also in the show notes. Practical tip. Share your struggles with a trusted friend or mentor. You can also email me at hello at Alexandra Alvarez. coaching.com. Hello at Alexandra Alvarez, coaching.com. If you need someone to guide you or pray for you. Attend church or join a small group, even when you don't feel like it, or it's really challenging. Try because surrounding yourself with a faith filled community is life-changing. I wouldn't be where I am today, to be honest, almost 20 years of marriage raising my kids, living in a beautiful apartment in the heart of the city and enjoying countless blessings. If it weren't for God's faithfulness. I've gone through long seasons of dryness, almost a decade at one point, but I stayed consistent in seeking him in an out of season. If you're curious about my journey, I invite you to listen to last year, summer series, episode 29 through 36, where I shared how I became a Christian and the circumstances that shaped my faith. One thing that's been essential to my growth. Is finding a consistent faith community. Every time we've moved. No matter which state we lived in and we move three states in 18 years. So I said 20, but it's almost 20 years. We always made it a priority to connect with a church family. And over time I've seen how God works. Sometimes slowly, but always purposefully. And I want to help you see God at work in your own life. Dry seasons. Don't define your relationship with him. They have a purpose, however, and life situations will always change. But if you remain consistent in your connection with God, that relationship will stay with you wherever you go. Number six rest in God's grace. Your relationship with God isn't based on your feelings, but on his and changing love for you. If you feel disconnected or disappointed. Rest in his grace. What I mean is that God has a purpose for your season. You don't have to figure everything out right now. His grace is sufficient for you. And in his time he'll reveal what separates you from him and what he wants you to learn. What it means also. To rest in his grace is that while you learn those things, God will take care of your circumstances. He will, because his ways are infinite. He can do all things. So trust that he'll take care of the rest. You can rest in his grace knowing that God is patient and Facebook will even when we feel weak and vulnerable. So practical tip meditate on scriptures like Matthew 11, verse 28 through 30. Isaiah 40 verse 31 or second Corinthians 12 verse nine. And I'm going to read that one. My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. All these verses, can we assure you of God's promises and remind you to lean on his strength? So as a closing reminder, spiritual dryness doesn't last forever. And it doesn't define your relationship with God. The seasons are opportunities to deepen your trust and dependence on him. Even when you don't feel like it, God is near. And he's working in your life. So this week, I encourage you to take one small step toward God each day, which one spoke to you, which of the six? That I mentioned today. Spoke to you. What do you remember from today? It could be a simple prayer reading, a scripture, or simply sitting quietly in his presence. The journey back to intimacy with God starts with one faithful step. So which one would it be for you? My friend. Let me close in prayer, father God, thank you for your unchanging love. Even when we feel distant, you are always near rekindle. Our desire for you and guide us through the season of dryness. Help us to trust in your grace and take small steps back into your presence. Thank you God for being patient and faithful. And in Jesus name, I pray. Amen. I'm looking forward to an incredible year with you growing in God's presence and experiencing the lasting peace that only he can provide. So bye for now, my friend. Hi, and thank you for joining me for our Wednesday Q& A. Clarity is key, so if you have more questions about God, the Bible, faith, or how to apply it to real life situations, please Feel free to email me at hello at alexandraalvarezcoaching. com. It's hello at alexandraalvarezcoaching. com. A L E X A N D R A A L V A R E Z coaching. com. And if you're enjoying the show, I'd really appreciate it. If you could leave a review, that's how I know what's resonating with you. So just go to Curious for Christ on Apple podcast or Spotify, Scroll down and click write a review. Don't forget to follow the show so you're notified when our next Q& A is out. Thanks again and I'll see you next week.