53. Finding Faith After Religion: Insights from Ex-Mormon Christian Shelby Hohsfield

In this episode of Curious for Christ, we delve into Shelby Hohsfield’s transformative faith journey. Shelby shares her powerful story of discovering Jesus and finding spiritual growth after leaving the Mormon church. She emphasizes the importance of pursuing a personal relationship with Jesus over mere institutional affiliation.

Key Points Discussed:
• The Importance of Curiosity in Faith:  Seek a true understanding of who Jesus is, beyond simply attending church services or following religious traditions.
• Salvation vs. Church Membership: Salvation is not about being part of a specific church but about having a genuine relationship with Jesus. Matthew 7:21-23, reminds us that it is about having a relationship with God -we don’t want to hear at the end of our lives, “I never knew you.” Instead, a true relationship with Christ is recognized by the “fruit” it produces (Matthew 7:16). Our actions, character, and qualities like love, patience, and kindness serve as evidence of our transformation through Him.
• The Role of Scripture: It is important to read and understand God’s Word through Scripture, which shapes and deepens our faith.
• Personal Growth and Transformation: Meeting Jesus is transformative, but spiritual growth is a daily process. Faith is a journey, not a one-time event.
• Faith vs. Works: Salvation is a gift from God, not something we can earn through our own efforts. We cannot rely on performance or good works to secure our place in Heaven—our priority must be knowing Jesus personally. However as we are transformed by Christ, this transformation will naturally be reflected in our actions. Our lives will begin to show the fruit of His presence (such as love, kindness, goodness, patience and integrity) - demonstrating the change that comes from truly Knowing Him.

Bible Verses Referenced:
• Acts 17:26-27: “…that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him.”
• 2 Corinthians 3:18: “…being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”

Find Shelby Online:
Explore Shelby’s work and follow her faith journey at Finding Faith Above. You can also connect with her on social media @findingfaithabove.

Final Thoughts:
Shelby’s story reminds us that the path to knowing God requires humility, curiosity, and a sincere desire to grow in faith. Her journey is a testament to how God transforms us when we open ourselves to His presence.

Connect with me and deepen your relationship with God NOW!

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Transcript

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I prayed to God in a way that I have never prayed ever before in my entire life and understood for the first time what surrender was that. I recognized I could not fix this. I was not big enough to make this happen. I could not change the situation, but the recognition that he was big enough, that he was able, that he was not just capable, but that he wanted me to give it to him Welcome back to curious for Christ. I'm so excited to introduce today's guest Shelby host field. Shelby is a talented artist. Motivational speaker and the host of the successful podcast, finding faith above. She grew up in the latter day saints church. And after leaving the Mormon church began her journey to truly find God and faith. And now she's passionate about helping women who are struggling to reconnect with God after leaving religion. And I'm excited to hear her story again on the podcast and to share it with you along with the many lessons that she's learned along the way, which I'm sure you may connect with. So please join me in welcoming Shelby host field. Welcome to curious for Christ. Do you ever find yourself lying awake at night? Wondering about God's plan for your life. Maybe you wake up with big dreams, but feel unsure where to start or what your next step should be. If you're curious about exploring your faith and finding purpose, then you've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Monica, Sandra. I too felt lost unsure of the direction my life was taking. I yearned to understand my purpose and have someone guide me. But I kept telling myself I was too busy, the timing wasn't right. And my lack of clarity prevented me from being consistent until I found Christ. He brought peace into my life and we field the way to find purpose by anchoring myself. In him. In this podcast, we'll journey together, exploring the Bible to gain a deeper understanding of him. and cultivate your own personal relationship with Christ. So open up your Bible, put in those ear buds and listen up because God is speaking to you. He is making everything new and you don't want to miss it. Let's get started. Shelby thank you for being here on Cures for Christ. I couldn't be more thrilled. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. Yes, absolutely. I thought your story would resonate with my audience. We met on a coaching masterclass and, it's been really great to hear about your journey as well, Let's just dive in. Tell me a little bit about your upbringing and your experience of God in the Latter day Saints church, and then why did you leave? Sure. So this is a fairly in depth story. It doesn't, it's not simple, but I honestly don't think that most people's faith journey is ever simple. I think that it's always a winding road and, until we are A little further down the line, we don't see that God was actually working the whole time, which is so the truth in my own story. So I grew up actually in a mixed faith household. My dad is Mormon LDS and still is, and is devout. My mom is not and never has been. And so that is, and they're still married 40 years later, which doesn't happen very often. It did pose some different kind of. Issues for my life. So my dad was he was a convert when he was like in high school ish time. His family changed a little bit. And so that's when he decided to start going to the church with his family. And then they all broke away. And he also did. And then after my parents were married and they did have me young, so I was about two or so years old. He was maybe not making some of the best choices and decided that he needed some stability. And I really do think that's the reason why he went back to the church is because it provided stability for him. And so he dove in like totally just Both feet jumped in and my mom was like whoa. Why this is not what I signed up for. So to give a little context, it wasn't like when they got married, it was already different. It happened as they, their marriage progressed and life progressed. And so I did end up going to the church with my dad until I was 18. But with my mom not being part of the church, if you know anything about the Mormon faith, it is all about family. All of it. That is the focus, even more so than, being with God. Your whole existence is to try to make it back because families are forever. That is the whole concept of Mormonism. And because I was in a home that was not going to be the case already, put a lot of pressure and was very confusing for someone growing up in the church and had to question very early on a lot more so than, Most people probably do. And is God real? Is this the truth? What should I do? And not necessarily getting any answers and feeling like God wasn't really listening. But yeah, that's where it all started. I don't know if you have any questions about that or if you want me to just keep going. That's definitely interesting to grow up, but yet you chose to go to that church what was your reasoning and then what led you to actually leave at some point at 18? Yeah, so I didn't. I think, I guess I didn't really get to choose, like I had to go to church with my dad. My mom, a lot of times would work on Sundays and different things so that she didn't have to go. She occasionally would go. It was very much understood that my mom did not want to be part of it. But my dad very much wanted us to be a part of it. And when you're in the church when you are eight, you. Are baptized into the church and baptism means something very different in the LDS church. It is more of a movement of membership rather than a proclamation of. Salvation. It's the first step in progression, eternal progression. You that's what you do first. And that's when you formally are then a member of the church. I actually at eight should have been baptized but because of all of this, I Just cry myself to sleep. Every night I just tell me it's true because here, if I do this for my dad, like I'll make my dad happy. If I do this, I'll make my mom unhappy. And that's not something that I think most eight year olds should have to deal with. But I prayed to God, like very serious prayers, tell me what I should do. And I felt like God never really answered. And I look back now and I realized. because God doesn't give you answers to crazy things. I was saying, God, just tell me the church is true. So he was very silent on the matter and I had to go through a lot of things and I understand that was his will. And that was the way that it was supposed to go. But I did end up formally being baptized into the church when I was 10, which I didn't realize until much later that actually makes me a convert. Even though I grew up in the church unless you're baptized at eight, you have to go through the missionaries will come and talk to you and you have to go through that whole process if you're nine years old. So like during that time where you're eight, that's when you can officially just get baptized and you're always part of the church. But because I didn't do it at eight at 10 then I was, I will always have been considered a convert. Which is interesting. I didn't realize that until I was already out of the church, like much later. But so yeah, so through that whole time though, trying to figure out like what is true, what is not true. And just such different doctrine. I never really felt the peace of Jesus or the love of God. It was much more of a, Understanding truth and not truth a little bit confusing. I never read the Bible. It was just, it was a very confusing time. But when I was in high school, I took a world religions class. And in this world religions class, I was introduced. Then to all these different ideas, all these things that had been like taboo, all these things that I wasn't allowed to explore. I wasn't allowed to look at. And it really gave, opened up the doors for what if there's more to all of this? What if. There's more to God than what I've been told. And then this was wild. But I had this crazy dream and I'm not saying that dreams mean all these things, but I just feel like sometimes God has his way of working with us when he can't get through any other way. So I had this crazy dream that I went to the supermarket. And everybody was excited because Jesus was at the grocery store. Jesus was there. Everybody was pumped about it, right? And I'm like, where is he? And, okay, mind you, I did not read the Bible at the time, so I knew nothing about this, but everybody was like, he's in the fruit section! He's all, he's in the fruit section! Which, of course, Fruit. Jesus. That just makes sense, right? But I didn't read the Bible, so I didn't know that. I go to the fruit section, all excited to see Jesus. And first off, I couldn't find him. I could only find him because there were other people with him. And he didn't know me. And that for whatever reason even when I close my eyes now, I can see the whole thing it had such an insane impact on me that I was like, whoa, holy smokes, and I told my friend the next day, and she's you gotta figure that out, that means something I don't know God doesn't know you Jesus doesn't know you, and I'm like, yeah, I, it was a big yeah. For whatever reason, it was a wild moment in kind of what I was dealing with. And because of the Mother World Religions class and everything too, I just said, you know what, like most people do when they leave they just say, I'm going to take a break and maybe this isn't true. And then my brain exploded because that's what happens when you've been told something is true your whole life. And then all of a sudden you're like, what if it's not? That was really hard, but basically what happened, and this is what happens, I think, with most people who leave the church is they just say, I'm taking a break. I just I'm opening up the door to other possibilities. And. Most people who leave will say, I just don't really want to deal with it anymore right now. Like I, it's not that I don't have faith in God, I just don't want to deal with him. I don't want to deal with what all this means. If this all isn't true, like everything I've ever known about God is not true, then I guess I'm walking away. And what does that mean? That mean for me it was very hard. I was very lonely. I couldn't really talk to anybody about it. It was, yeah. So I was a senior in high school when that all happened. And then I spent pretty much all of college until after I got married and was pregnant with my son, I would say I was agnostic without actually knowing what that word was. I just didn't want to deal with it and I think that's how most people are who leave the church. They go through a time where if you've walked away from everything you ever knew about God, how can you believe in God? It's it's I know that he's there, but I don't know anything about him. Yeah. Everything I did know about him I'm walking away from. So it's very, that, that was very complicated. So that's how I left. And I think that's how most people leave. Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned two things that caught my attention. You mentioned that your mom would be going, but your father is the one with the strongest conviction. So it would make sense as an eight year old or whatever age you had that you would follow the one with the strongest beliefs. Yeah. Like it seems okay, he knows what he's doing while the other person is okay going with the flow, but not really with the strong convictions. And then when you mentioned that, you had that you questioned God or you ask or you bet God to know what, if that was the truth, if that was the true church or, if God was in there I've noticed in my own path that when God is silent, it's a time where we have, we explore ourselves. We get to know ourselves. Sometimes God does not just spoon feed us the answers or we're not ready because we don't know, you were just a young girl. You were just trying to please your father. we're dependent on our parents. And so we follow what they know. And so it, it makes sense that at 18 you explore these new. Beliefs and that's where you decided, I need to figure it out for myself and definitely it started with this phase of agnosticism, which is interesting where you don't want to deal with it because there's a lot of hurts where you feel perhaps you've been lied to, this whole thing that seems so important is meaningless because if we don't have a relationship with Jesus and why are we doing all this? What is the purpose behind it? Understanding out one's purpose and God his will for our life. The big questions that we need to navigate. And it's. definitely not easy. So you mentioned that you met your husband and then you had some important moments during that time when you were pregnant, and then with your daughter also going through her own journey and being just tossed by different beliefs. You also mentioned that new age was like the natural transition after someone who leaves the LDS church. Could you explain this time of confusion, of fear that led you back to God where you feel like now you're at a better place with more clarity in your faith. Yeah. So to give a little bit more clarity with this too, my mom was not just go with the flow. My mom was a post. She was full out opposed to it and still is. And so that led to, I actually think that was somewhat of a gift to be in a home. Where I had to have my own faith from the beginning, it couldn't be what my parents believed because they were so opposite. However, my mom did not introduce me to a different church. I did go to the Catholic church a little bit with my grandparents. I had a friend who was Christian, but I, there, there wasn't a whole lot of other influence. Everything I knew about God was from the Mormon church. That to give that a little bit of context there. So most people who leave do go through, I think a time where they just don't want to deal with God. But because I feel like it's all consuming being in the Mormon church, it gets, it's part of. Everything of your life, like it is how you eat, how you sleep, how you talk to people, the movies you watch, the clothes you wear the people you surround yourself with, the way you use your words the way you pray, the way you look at scripture, like every single piece and aspect that you can possibly add the way you eat, what you eat, what you drink, every single aspect of your life is LDS. There is. Not a whole lot of gray area for understanding or socializing outside of it. So to walk away from it, you're not just walking away from God. You're walking away from an entire way of being. And I think a lot of people don't know how to do that. It's very complicated for a multitude of reasons. And with myself I definitely had a time where I just didn't, did not want to deal with God because God was associated with all of that, right? So all of those that, that structure that I just genuinely did not like, I never felt the peace of Jesus by. Obeying the word of wisdom like it was not that those things don't ever correlated for me. And so there wasn't like a piece to go back to so yeah very much being Not wanting to deal with him and most people who leave also Definitely feel quite a bit of anger along with it or Being lied to, but then there's all this, also this little piece in there, this little confusion, a lot of times that happens where you're like, but what if they're right? Is it true? Really? Like I know it's not. What is it? What is it? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel guilty for leaving God? Perhaps? Oh, so guilty. So guilty. The guilt is all, so that's why you can't deal with it. You can't talk about God because there's so much guilt involved in all of that. And yeah, so pretty much all of college, I was just like, I'm not dealing with it at all. My husband and I did end up getting married right after college. And when I was pregnant with my son. I could feel his soul with me, like I genuinely could feel his soul with me, like it was just like such a God moment that I was like, you know what, I think I have to figure this out. Like my parents provided such a, an amazing example on so many levels. But they stunk at the God thing. And I have got to figure that part out. So I started just gently exploring. I listened to some church services on podcasts while I would go run or whatnot and like just listened. I went and sat in on a couple services by myself. I didn't want to drag. My husband and everybody into it unless I was actually serious about it. But really just started gently exploring and it still was another few years after that, I had to lay down the fact that the church was not true, the Mormon church was not true before I could move on. And I didn't know how to do that. And I. There was a lot of complicated stuff with that, but I, what I ended up deciding to do was, so when I'm getting old now, but like all of, I left the church before the internet was the internet, so at this point, though, this few years later, the internet was a little bit of a bigger deal. And so I just Wikipedia'd I felt like the whole thing hinged on Joseph Smith and I really wanted to know more about him, just like his basic history was he actually a decent dude who could have been a prophet? I needed to know that. So I wikipedia'd it, and instantly was like, nope. Okay, I can officially say I am done. It is not true. And that was freeing, but then the anger bubbled up all over again. And then I really was angry. I was real angry. And that kind of was a time in there where I was back and forth. Again, I had some Christian friends. I ended up in a mom's group, which was a Christian mom's group. And I loved that, but it was the first time I was introduced to Christian women, really. And they taught me what a devotional was. I didn't know what a devotional was. All these like basic things that I think that in our Christian faith, we take for granted. I had to learn, like I had no idea about so much and it was overwhelming and I took it like baby steps. But. I still did. And I was jealous of their faith. I honestly was jealous of these women's faith. I didn't know how to get that. I didn't know how to allow myself to have a relationship with God. That was such a foreign concept to me at this point, after all these years that I was jealous of their faith and it took me then away from all of that again. So through that, I feel like the world really promotes the, you can do it all on your own. And the LDS faith, Mormon faith being built a lot on works for your salvation was very much you have to do it all on your own. So this was not something that was for me to just be instilled in me that I have to. To work for my life, my salvation, my everything. I have to work. It's based on what I do. What can I accomplish? What can I do? To earn it. And yes. Not a gift. And no, not at all. Not at all. You have to earn it. It's hard. It's grace after all you can do, that's actually in 2 Nephi, in the Mormon church, in their scripture, it's grace after all you can do. I really had this mentality of I have to, and I didn't realize I carried that with me. I didn't realize that was like a concept that had been implanted in me from, being a child. But the world tells you the same thing. The world tells you the exact same thing. You can do it all. You have this thing inside of you that makes you, and you have to just figure out how to tap into that, and you can do it, and you need to do this, and you are enough all on your own without God. You are, like, it totally feeds that. And the whole New Age thing just, pfft. Totally. I've always been into health too. And so that all of that together, just were like, you have all of this inside you that can make this all happen. And I'm really dove into all of that in. Not a way that I'm super proud of now, looking back on it just because I recognize my pride in looking back at myself at that time. But that's where I was and I was really in that. And you mentioned my daughter, she went through a little bit of a time where she was, She totally just got sucked in by the world too. And the internet is not a good place for a young girl and told her a bunch of lies, like the internet just told her a bunch of lies about herself and about who she was and in the most terrible ways. And I didn't know this was all happening because I was too self consumed, just doing all the things I needed to do. I didn't even see it. And I guess my moment, I met God. After all those years, I, it was like 2 a. m. in the morning and my daughter had messaged me this big long text about where she was, how she was doing, which was not good. She was in a really bad place and in her life. And I just all of the sudden was overwhelmed. With this need for help in a way that I knew was completely outside of me. And at 2 AM in the morning, I hit my knees and I prayed to God in a way that I have never prayed ever before in my entire life and understood for the first time what surrender was that. I recognized I could not fix this. I was not big enough to make this happen. I could not change the situation, but the recognition that he was big enough, that he was able, that he was not just capable, but that he wanted me to give it to him in like the most amazing way. It was just like, and I met him I felt like his full on presence and peace girlfriend, I've been waiting here your entire life for you to say this, for you to give it to me, like your whole life. And I was listening the whole time and I was here and I was waiting for you and yes, I will take this and it will not be easy, but it will be okay. Okay. And I, I can, I like audibly, unaudibly, like within my soul heard him. And he was right. He also told me that I needed to call my friend, Vanessa, who we weren't friends at the time. We hadn't talked in years. But she was the most amazing Christian woman who knew him. And she taught me everything about him. What? Like this crazy, I hadn't talked to her, like literally in 15 years. I don't even know how that happened. But she helped walk me through it. And just having that, it's like I finally understood what faith was. It's the, it's that surrender of knowing that like he's got you, like he's got you. It's just beautiful and so amazing in so many ways. And there's been so many other things that have happened since then that it's just wow, you were listening the whole time. But Yeah. Yeah. So that's the basics of all that. That's a beautiful and thank you for being so vulnerable. I really felt it. And so yes, and it's amazing how the spirit works, in a direction where not only, he brings us, God brings us to our knees, but also provides a way forward. What's next? Because when everything is laid at the foot of the cross, then, we what's left of us, we die to self and surrender. So you said you, you went back to this friend who then led you to find your faith again, to, so what were the steps was you mentioned growing up, you did not read your Bible even in the Mormon church. So it's hard to understand God's will if we don't even know what he's saying. And the Bible is the way to understand him better. So did you study the Bible with your friend? What, can you tell us a little bit that part of you being back restored to God and living the way you are now? So sure. So to give a little bit of like context with it all, I do feel like Mormon thought is so entrenched because it is all consuming in your life. And so there's still even moments down where I'm like, wow, that was a really Mormon thought. Like it was weird how that happens. I don't know. It was really in there. But the whole like new age prideful situation that was gone the next day. That was like the understanding. That you have to lay yourself down and surrender at all to Jesus. And then he picks it back up and it's a piece like you've never understood. That was like that was like, it just, I was one way and the next morning I was a completely different person. And I felt that from my core. So all the books, all the things, all the self help, all the junk, all went in the trash. Like it was like a, it was an immediate. change without ever having to read the Bible that happened like right away. But then through what happened with next steps is, yes, she did start reading the Bible with me. We did a little Bible study together and I started reading a lot on my own because I was like, I need to know who God is. So really trying to read a lot more on my own. I started in Matthew this time instead of at the beginning of the Bible, which I would recommend for everybody. That's the place to start. Yes. What was crazy is going back to that whole dream that I had. I'm reading through Matthew and Matthew chapter seven. He talked, there's this one whole part where Jesus is talking and the little header of it was the fruit of the spirit and talking about Jesus being the fruit of the spirit and right above that it talks about false prophets and what that looks like, if I had just read that part back in the day, and then keep going, how it talks about how Jesus never knew you you will do all the things, you will do all the works, but if you do not have But if you don't know him, if you don't build a relationship with him, you will never know him. And it was like, oh my goodness, 20 years later, you are answering my prayer. Like it was like a holy smokes moment. Like he literally just answered my prayer on his timeline, not mine, from when I was eight years old. That was crazy. That was wild. But but I really just, and I do. Talk about this with all the women that I have talked to now who have left the church and kind of have come to Jesus in different ways is. Wanting to go on a Jesus journey. I think that is like the biggest thing is just get to know him. It's not so much about finding the perfect church and like membership in a church does not equal salvation anyways. And yes, you do need people to fellowship with. But being curious about getting to actually know who he is. That's okay. That changes everything, because if you read his word, he would like, it's not like up to us to save somebody else, like he does the work, like you just gotta let him do it. And you have to plant the seeds, and God is the one who makes it grow, right? And the seeds are, you are definitely were seeking to know who he really was. But yes, it's a relationship, you seek him, but he searches your heart, puts you in situations, just like Acts 17 says, that perhaps maybe we will find him, right? The boundary lines of our lives. He said those. And you're right about the, you growing up in that Mormon church things come back we are being, we are growing from one level of glory to the next. Like the scripture mentions and our eyes become unveiled and we're growing. And so we'll continue to grow until we see him I appreciate your testimony. I'd like to talk a little bit about you as an artist, motivational speaker and podcaster yourself, where can our listeners find you and follow your work? Sure. So the best place to find honestly, everything having to do with coming to Jesus and going on this Jesus journey as I feel like everybody should, would be@findingfaithabove.com. That was a big, huge part for me is I really wanted to find faith and so helping other people to find that faith that's what I love to do. So finding faith above.com and then on all the places, it's the same finding faith above. Perfect. Is there anything that you'd like to share to close up? Any thought perhaps words of encouragement or final thoughts? I think the biggest thing is you will meet God when you lay down your pride, but in order to do that, you have to be curious about getting to know who he is. And if you go on that little Jesus journey, then, oh man, the things that he can do in your life, like you will be blown away by how literally he can change you into a completely different person. It's so cool. It's awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. Absolutely. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. You're welcome. What an incredible testimony shall be truly as an amazing woman. And I hope you found this conversation helpful in some way as well. Here are some key takeaways I gathered from this discussion. The importance of a curiosity in faith, it is essential to seek a true understanding of who Jesus is rather than simply attending church services and following the traditions of a church. Salvation versus church membership. Salvation is not tied to church membership. Instead, the focus should be on one's personal relationship with Jesus. As mentioned in Matthew seven, verses 21 through 23. We don't want to be the person who hears. I never knew you. Uh, genuine faith in Christ is recognized by the fruit. It produces as stated in Matthew seven, verse 16, by their fruit, you will recognize them. A true relationship with Jesus is reflected in our actions in character. And while salvation is not based on works, the transformation that comes from knowing him is evident through qualities, such as love, patience, kindness, and integrity. This fruit serves as a Testament to our face and relationship with Christ. The role of scripture, engaging with the Bible is crucial for understanding God and deepening our faith. Personal growth versus transformation. An encounter with Jesus is transformative. But personal growth is an ongoing journey that requires daily commitment. Faith versus works. Salvation is a gift from God and is not based on our performance or good works. There is nothing inherent in us that can earn our way to heaven. So it is vital to prioritize, getting to know Jesus. So if you're feeling called to deepen a personal relationship with God. I invite you wholeheartedly to explore my coaching services. My coaching provides structured step-by-step teaching or personalized guidance and ongoing support to ensure you feel equipped and accountable on your journey. So reach out to me directly at bit dot L Y forward slash spiritual growth coaching. Select a time that works for you today to get started. And be sure to fill out the intake form as well. So we can begin. Right. Where you are. Thank you for being here today with me and I can't wait to get to know you through your spiritual journey. Have a wonderful weekend and see you next time. Hi, I hope you enjoy today's episode. If so, would you like to take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who may also struggle with knowing God and his purpose for their life? Also leave. A review on apple podcasts and let me know what topics you'd like to hear about in the future. Your voice matters. I'll meet you back next Friday for another episode.